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21st Century Lesbian Trailer Trash

These are the mad musings of a middle aged woman, dyke, nurse, poet. I have a dog, a cat, a mobile home, and delusions of grandeur.

Location: California, United States

Thursday, August 24, 2006


This Homer Simpson moment is brought to you by Les Beans Costa Rita coffee. It's a good day to have a warm and mellow, full bodied woman sitting next to me.

Yesterday morning I was flying high and tight, lookin' good in my cream colored pants and white blouse with the little flowers embroidered on the cuffs and collar. I had even managed lipstick.

Next thing you know I was really flying. As in through the air. SPLAT! I was face down on the pavement.

The maintenance dude was first on the scene. I didn't get up because I wasn't sure if anything was broken. Plus, the right side of my face felt a little bit like road kill must feel.

Before I knew it, LavenderDE was on there, took a look at my face, and told someone to call 911. And there I am, in the middle of the parking lot, sprawled out like a doddering old drunk for all the world to see.

After a few minutes I was fairly certain nothing was broken other than my pride. And possibly my right pinky finger.

At least my sense of humor was still intact.

EMT: How old did you say you were? 42?

Me: I haven't even seen your face yet and already I know you're cute.

They bundled me onto the gurney and into the rig, trussed up like a Thanksgiving turkey complete with neck brace and back board.

After an exciting hour of being poked, prodded, examined and clucked over, I was released on my own recognizance. I didn't merit anything stronger than ibuprofen and an ice pack.

I returned to work in filthy clothing because it would have taken too much time out of my day to go home and change.

Ah, but my day wasn't over. After coming home feeling thankful over my sudden brush with certain life long road burn on my face, I took Jaz to drop off my DVD's and drive through Starbucks for a Banana coconut frappucino.

When I drove back into the drive of my little tin house, I miscalculated, scraping my front fender and bending the support thingie on my overhang.

Obviously, I should not have left home yesterday. But the Universe doesn't always tell you what's in store for you. So I tucked myself and the dog into bed with 800 mg. of Advil and a Flexeril left over from a previous injury, to sleep off the bad karma.

I have a bit of a shiner, a bump on my forehead, a scraped up right cheek, and a very sore pinky finger. Aside from that and a bit of residual soreness, I feel fine.

My car was not so lucky. Her minor damage won't go away on its own. Ditto for the bent support pole. All that and I didn't even earn a day off work.


Blogger d said...

Damn. I've done a few numbers on myself but never on the same day. I like to keep the self-inficted injuries to one per.

I had to read "Les Beans" twice. I had a blond moment for a sec, "Hmm, never heard of that coffee, wonder if I can get some in Canada?"

Rest up and feel better.

10:26 AM PDT  
Blogger scout said...

Ack! You totally earned a day off work. Clearly, you were compromised—how else to explain the fender-bender? Surely you weren't high enough on banana coconut frappucino, though those things can alter you a bit.

Rest up, take comfort in your Costa Rican beans (hell, eat some whole if the mood strikes), and be well.

12:57 PM PDT  
Blogger Laurie said...

Awwwww (((((Pam)))))
Take care your lucky the dog let you near her, lol.

1:33 PM PDT  
Blogger Syd said...

Adding to your tough-as-hell rep, I see. Can't you imagine the stories being tossed around at work? "ALL THAT... and the bitch still came in to work..."

A legend in the making, I'm telling you.

2:06 PM PDT  
Blogger Vanda said...

Sheese no wonder I was wondering if you were ok. Give your self the damn day off tomorrow and rest!!

Hope you feel better soon Pammie.

2:25 PM PDT  
Blogger SassyFemme said...

Oh geez! Some days it doesn't pay to get out of bed, huh? I seriously can't believe you went back to work! I would have totally played that up, gone home, and blogged all day. :)

6:32 PM PDT  
Blogger NursePam said...

It just so happens Ms. d, that you can get Les Beans coffee in Canada. I see no reason why they would not ship to you :o)

LOL Scout! Yes. Clearly I was compromised. If I could get high on a banana coconut frapp I would surely be the biggest drunk in town.

The dog didn't even notice Laurie ;^) She was too busy trying to figure out why she couldn't jump out of the doggie car seat.

That's right Syd. If nothing else I'm a legend in my own mind. The EMT said I was one tough bi-atch. Or something to that effect.

Thanks Vanda. You sure you aren't psychic?

Haaaaa Sassy. Ya think? Just remember. I work in a psych facility. And all of my nurses are nuts. What do you suppose that says about me?

9:11 PM PDT  
Blogger ~ nellenelle said...

Ayeeee! Twix you and my daughter...

sending ya healin' thoughts, Pam, even if ya only need it for your pride.


8:53 PM PDT  
Blogger NursePam said...

LOL! Thanks Nelle. Actually, my pinky finger is quite sore, swollen and bruised. I have a slightly blackened eye, a head bump, and a sore shoulder. All things considered though, I came out of it in pretty good shape ;^)

9:36 PM PDT  
Blogger Martha said...

sassyfemme I love your avatar. It is so refreshing to see those two monkeys cuddling with each oter. They are so ugly they are actually cute!

11:00 PM PDT  
Blogger Cheryl said...

So sorry to hear about your misfortune, Pam! Hope you're quickly on the mend.

You sure you can't parlay this into a three-day weekend???

5:41 PM PDT  
Blogger NursePam said...

I am on the mend Cheryl :o) I did decide to take today off. I was sore enough over the weekend that I couldn't do much. So today I am doing all of those little weekend things that we all need to do.

11:10 AM PDT  
Blogger just me said...

I take off for a few days and damn.. I hope you are ok by now. (((hugs)))

1:59 PM PDT  
Blogger NursePam said...

LOL! I'm OK JM :o) I took today off just because I was still sore enough over the weekend I couldn't get my necessary stuff done.

Ya just can't take me anywhere that I don't cause a scene.

4:10 PM PDT  

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