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21st Century Lesbian Trailer Trash

These are the mad musings of a middle aged woman, dyke, nurse, poet. I have a dog, a cat, a mobile home, and delusions of grandeur.

Location: California, United States

Thursday, May 18, 2006

Pay It Forward

Rotten, rotten, rotten week.

1. Monday always sucks unless Monday is not your Monday. But if you work in the 9 to 5 Monday through Friday world, Monday sucks.

2. Tuesday. One of our big, young, male patients beat the snot out of 2 of my female nurses. I was right in the thick of it. The son of a bitch plotted it, planned it, and set it up so that no one had a clue what he was about to do. While V and I tried to hold the door with our full body weight, he pushed us aside like we were paper dolls.

I tried to head him off but he went right around me, cornered V by my office door, and proceeded to pound her on top of the head until she passed out and had a lump the size of my fist. When S tried to pull him off, he socked her in her jaw which is now black and blue and twice its normal size. The dude is over 6 feet and weighs about 200 pounds.

I screamed like a girl right into the intercom: "All men to station 2! Every man in the house to station 2!"

Well, I called a code green and the response was unsatisfactory and I wanted that guy off my nurses. I nearly wet my damn pants I was so scared.

S will be back to work Monday. V has to have a repeat CAT scan tomorrow. S told me I was her hero, apparently because I stayed with them. She insists I was trying to pull him off of V although I don't remember that at all.

3. Wednesday. I don't even remember that this week had a Wednesday. If I didn't see that I posted on Wednesday right here on this blog I would tend to believe that we just skipped Wednesday this week.

4. Thursday. The State came in to investigate the assault that occurred on Tuesday. We self-report all incidents. My boss was off shopping and not answering her phone which left me to deal with the surveyor. Well, let's just say that I found something in her office that made me so angry I wanted to walk out and never return. If I was 35, I would have done just that. Instead, I swallowed my ire and continued, albeit not happily, through my day.

5. Thursday continued. I came home, fed the cat, and drove to the pet clinic to pick up Maggie's ashes. They had put them in a pretty little cedar box with a gold lock. I had to make a couple of other stops. My last stop was Starbucks. The nice young boy at the counter asked how I was. Reflexively I said "I'm fine. And how are you this evening?"

He replied "Actually, I wasn't fine when I got here. Then I had one of these new banana coconut mocha frapuccinos and now I feel happy."

How could I say no to something like that? I ordered one, grande decaf. When he rang up my order he said "By the way, I'm taking off $3.00. It's a gift from my last customer. He ordered a tall latte, gave me a five and told me to buy a drink for my next customer."

Wow! No kidding? Just like that. It made me all warm and toasty inside, that random act of kindness. How could he know I was still teary over the tiny cedar box sitting in the passenger seat of my car? That I was driving around town feeling sad and unappreciated. And for no reason other than that I was the next person there, he gave me this small gift.

Maggie's cedar box is sitting in my bedroom right now. It gives me an odd sense of comfort to know that she is where I can keep her safe.

Kinja, the weblog guide


Blogger Vanda said...

What a great start to the almost weekend. Bloody hell that was an awful thing to happen. I hope they are both going to be ok. Did you sustain any injuries Pam?

Of course now I'm gagging to know what you found in the office that upset you.

Hugs to you Pam, just because.

11:35 PM PDT  
Blogger Cheryl said...

Oh, how horrible, {{{Pam!}}} I'm so glad you were safe and so terribly sorry about the harm to your nurses. I'm also dying with curiosity to know what was in the boss's office.

At 35, 57 or 102, you must do what's right for you. Overcoming my fear of "losing" my job the past few years has been very liberating. You are a nurse, Pam. That's a very marketable skill. You could go anywhere, Dearheart, never forget that. You have to work at a place that allows you to feed your soul through your work, otherwise it's just another prison.

I'm glad Maggie is there with you.


2:55 AM PDT  
Blogger Syd said...

Wise words, Cheryl. I'll add that around here, a good nurse can pretty well name her price.

Damn, Pam! You should put a warning on posts like this to fasten our seatbelts before reading. That took me through the whole spectrum of emotions.

Very well done.

Hope you have a nice weekend. You deserve it, 'specially after this fucking week!

4:23 AM PDT  
Blogger kitty litter said...

Jesus Christ Pam!

5:20 AM PDT  
Blogger NursePam said...

One nurse will be fine. She's tough and philosophical about it and she loves her work. The other was hurt worse and is probably suffering some PTSS. She's more fragile to begin with and I am worried about her.

The boss? You don't even want to know. The longer I know her the crazier she is. But I have my reasons for staying for at least another year or two. One of the things I have learned about her is that no matter how much she pisses me off, her intentions are usually good.

LOL @ the seat belts Syd. Maybe I should find a little seat belt icon so y'all will know when I'm gonna put you on the roller coaster ;^)

7:59 AM PDT  
Blogger just me said...

What a week. I can't even imagine. I think what Cheryl said was right on. You are such a strong and wonderful woman Pam, through your blog you have made me a better person, more aware. I know that has nothing to do with what you wrote but I felt it needed to be said. I hope next week is a much better one.

(and don't thank me or some such crap, I just wanted you to know what I felt)

11:53 AM PDT  
Blogger G. L. Gross said...

{{{{{{Pam}}}}}} I'm glad you weren't hurt, I hope the situation clears itsself up and that patient is dealt with in the appropriate fashion.

I hope that your nurse is going to be ok.



1:48 PM PDT  
Blogger Pat Kirby said...

...and drove to the pet clinic to pick up Maggie's ashes.

Oh dear. Somewhere along the line, in my Internet absence, I missed the fact that your little friend passed.

I'm so sorry.

2:45 PM PDT  
Blogger KMae said...

Jesus Christ!
Was that lunatic NOT ARRESTED?? You didn't say he was arrested.
Good fucking GRIEF, what is being done about the perpetrator????
Out f'in rageous.

Please be safe.

4:49 PM PDT  
Blogger Sandra said...

"I screamed like a girl right into the intercom: "All men to station 2! Every man in the house to station 2!"

Pammie, you ARE a girl.

Have a relaxing weekend my friend.

5:34 PM PDT  
Blogger NursePam said...

>(and don't thank me or some such crap, I just wanted you to know what I felt)

LOL Just Me. OK ;^)

Thanks Pat. I appreciate everyone's thoughts.

Kmae and SB, we tried to send him to jail. But since he is under LPS conservatorship and this was considered a misdemeanor, the sheriff refused to take him to jail. He actually wanted him back in the facility. He ended up in an acute hospital but even the psychiatrist said his sorry ass belongs in jail. At the very least he ought to be in Patton.

Ha Sandra. I probably ought to have said like an hysterical girl ;^)

7:26 AM PDT  
Blogger NursePam said...

p.s. Kmae, I had an aol account that I am still paying for but don't use. For some reason I can't log in to comment on your blog :o(

7:27 AM PDT  
Blogger gandhi rules said...

What a week. Did they arrest that rotten boy?
I love that karma gave you a kiss in the form of coffee. Isn't it beautiful when it happens?

4:36 PM PDT  
Blogger Sandra said...

Fascinating post. I hope things have settled down and that V is okay by now.
Just visiting your blog for the first time after you left me a hello on at Blogher. Thanks! I spent a bit of time following all the links in your most recent post, just to fuel my ire at our administration... then I found my way down here to this post. My mom was a psych nurse in both the locked and unlocked wards for 25 years. She is a very empathetic person and it really took a toll on her. She really made the best of her job, but I think it fueled her depression. I have a lot of respect for you. Nice blog! I'll be back to visit more.

9:03 AM PDT  
Blogger NursePam said...

Hi Ghandi! It was a nice karmic kiss :o) They did not arrest him. The sheriff took him to the hospital where he is awaiting transfer back to his county of origin.

Hey Sandra! Nice of you to stop by. I feel for your mom. V is doing better every day and will be back to work tomorrow but on a less acute unit at least for awhile. Like your mom, V is very warm and empathetic. I have only worked psych for the last 3 years out of 25 and I'm not sure how much longer I'll stick with it.

6:16 PM PDT  

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