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21st Century Lesbian Trailer Trash

These are the mad musings of a middle aged woman, dyke, nurse, poet. I have a dog, a cat, a mobile home, and delusions of grandeur.

Location: California, United States

Tuesday, April 04, 2006

The Gay Guys & The Grumpy Girls

Overheard by lesbians around the world on a daily basis:

Can you just answer one question? Why are lesbians always so angry?

Well, as a group they generally are not. But the angry dykes do make for some interesting press. No?

At any rate, I was checking out John this morning over at his
Journal of a Writing Man. He lives with his long time partner, Graham, across the pond in jolly old England. He writes the sweetest, most gentle vignettes about their life together. Every time I visit, I want to pinch his round cheeks and give him a hug.

For some reason this morning, I was reminded of a ghost from my past; the one I used to refer to as my best girlfriend, Victor. He and I made a great couple. Both of us could easily pass for straight and both of us had narrowly escaped the trap of getting married as a means of delaying the necessity of truly confronting our respective sexualities and seriously hurting people we cared about in the process.

Victor was (and still is as far as I know) a sweet and gentle man. He does great good in the world. In a nutshell, he works tirelessly to get hispanic children prepared and into college. He teaches, he raises money, he makes trips to Washington, and he lives in semi-pauperhood so that his staff can have raises. He knows some very powerful people but you have to know him for a long time before you can even catch a whiff of that piece of his life.

Victor is the one who gave me the phrase "gay guys and grumpy girls."

"It's how the gay men refer to the lesbians," he told me. "You're the grumpy girls." I thought that was hysterically funny.

I never discussed the personal, political, or social ramifications of that remark with Victor. It wasn't that sort of friendship.

As much as I loved him, Victor was stone nuts. So I did what I eventually do with all of my crazy friends. I referred him to a great therapist. He loved young, brown men and I was terrified that he would unwittingly cross the line one day.

Luckily, he began to get better and get happy in his life. He met a sweet young man from Thailand who was over 30 and they fell in love. We drifted apart and I lost track of him several years ago. I hope that he is on his way to retirement in Thailand which was their plan.

I'm still a grumpy girl. Life is good.

Kinja, the weblog guide


Blogger just me said...

As much as I love the posts that open my eyes to the world I love the posts that open my eyes to your life more. Have you ever thought about finding Victor again?

3:17 PM PDT  
Blogger Francesca said...

Yet another lovely post, you grumpy lesbian, you! lol


4:41 PM PDT  
Blogger ~ nellenelle said...

why in bloody hell did you write this post? Huh? Huh? I've a good mind to... to...

shut the fuck up, stop pretending to be a jerk, and smiel. That will show you.

Now who said I'm angry? ;-)

8:02 PM PDT  
Blogger kitty litter said...

well here I thought my grumpiness was due to menopause and come to find out it just cause I'm a Dyke!?
Wait till i tell Lise...she'll need to stop using that as my excuse.

5:36 AM PDT  
Blogger NursePam said...

It shouldn't be difficult to find Victor if he wants to be found and is still here in town. I'd probably only need to hit up all of the gay sex addicts anonymous meetings and eventually there he would be.

Thanks for the compliments Just Me and Francesca.

As for you 2 grumpy womyn, just give peace a chance ;^)

*nursepam ducks and runs for cover*

7:44 AM PDT  

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