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21st Century Lesbian Trailer Trash

These are the mad musings of a middle aged woman, dyke, nurse, poet. I have a dog, a cat, a mobile home, and delusions of grandeur.

Location: California, United States

Sunday, January 08, 2006

Oh My God! I Forgot To Have Children!

A number of years ago, you could buy tee shirts with that expression. That and "OMG! I left the baby on the bus!"

Actually, I always wanted children. In fact, I had a foster daughter whom I was planning to adopt. But the Universe had other plans for both of us. I was also pregnant a couple of times. But the Universe had other plans for those children as well.

Want to know something funny? My coworkers are always asking me "Who will take care of you when you are old?" Trust me, I have worked in too many nursing homes where old folks have literally been abandoned by their progeny.

That's how I learned that if you have children with specific expectations about what you will receive in return, then you probably aren't ready to have children.

I think I would have been an OK mother. Probably as good as most moms. Better than some and worse than others. I did some body work sessions on a therapist a number of years back and she told me that I had "great mom energy." I am not convinced that this is all that it takes to make a good mom.

So, I have to take all of that mom energy and displace it somewhere. Some to my nurses, some to my patients, some to my friends. A whole lot to my dog.

The most annoying thing about not being a parent, is the knowing looks and comments from parents. I could not possibly understand the joys and heartaches of parenthood.

Oh, I have a teeny tiny idea. You only need to have a child ripped from your life once to understand all you would ever need to know. And you only need one moment to understand all of the joy you might have held in your hands.

But life goes on. The best thing any of us can do is to live in the moment. And love the one we're with.

Kinja, the weblog guide


Anonymous rosie said...

I know you would be an awesome mom! I'll confess that last Mother's Day, I thought about sending you an ecard. I didn't know if it would be a good idea. But, I didn't have your email address either. That's just to let you know that I was thinking about you.

btw- I was formerly Seabiscuit

5:03 AM PST  
Blogger Trop said...

Oh Pammie, I had both T-shirts!

8:13 AM PST  
Blogger G. L. Gross said...

I would have loved being your daughter, growing up in a house with open-mindedness and acceptance. It would have been wonderful!


9:43 PM PST  
Blogger NursePam said...

Rosie & Gigi, how very sweet. Thank you.

And look how we change Kimmie. We'll all laugh about that when you have 10,000 more babies. ;^)

10:02 PM PST  
Blogger ALANA DELTS said...


7:17 PM PDT  
Blogger ALANA DELTS said...

I even made a painting about this issue

7:18 PM PDT  

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