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21st Century Lesbian Trailer Trash

These are the mad musings of a middle aged woman, dyke, nurse, poet. I have a dog, a cat, a mobile home, and delusions of grandeur.

Location: California, United States

Thursday, December 29, 2005

That Jesus Dude

There is a goddessing blog that I very much enjoy. Recently she spoke of Jesus being a very goddess-like dude without a goddess. I'm no religious scholar. But what about that Mary chick?

If I ever thought the Catholics were on to a good thing, it was strictly because of their celebration of Mary. God may have planted his seed. But it never would have happened without a woman.

Kinja, the weblog guide

Wednesday, December 28, 2005

Dr. Laura & Her Band of Righteous Bigots

This woman came to my mind today because my boss was talking about Indians (Native Americans) and how they really are different from everyone else.

My boss is not a complicated intellectual. She is a simple woman with simple tastes, wants, and needs. She has a kind heart and a passion for taking care of those in need. She believes in God, Mom, and apple pie. But she is also a racist and a homophobe.

If I said this to her face she would freak out. And in my old age, I have learned that it rarely pays to confront folks like this head on. Remember, this is a woman who is responsible for my ownership of a yellow umbrella with a duck head, complete with orange bill, on the top.

Since the discussion of Indians came just before I left for the day, it should surprise no one that during my drive time ruminations Laura Schlessinger came to mind; she of legendary homophobic fame.

According to Dr. Laura, I am a freak of nature. A mistake. A veritable boil on the butt of humanity. The brouhaha she caused when Paramount wanted to televise her show in 2000 is long past. I don't much care what the woman does with her time. Although it does irritate me that she makes millions spouting her second rate drivel about families and relationships.

These days, for the most part, people like Schlessinger do not cause me any great anger or distress. I simply look at them like interesting bugs under a microscope. They are like germs. Nearly invisible but oh so deadly. One day I would like to invent a vaccination to protect your average human from her kind of poison. In the meantime, I will put my energy into making her crazy by supporting things like gay marriage.

As for my boss, I like to drive her crazy by referring to our transgendered employee as SHE. When she angrily tells me that this person is a man, I just say "It's a respect thing P." That's usually all it takes to shut her up although it doesn't quell the volcano rumbling beneath the surface. Still, it gives me a rather small, if somewhat petty satisfaction to mess with her like that.

Just my way, at 50 something, of saying fuck the establishment.

Kinja, the weblog guide

Tuesday, December 27, 2005

Let's Go On An Archeological Dig

Underneath my Christmas Tree. I don't have a tree this year. But for the sake of the story let us forego veracity and assume that I do indeed have a bauble bedecked piece of greenery in my living room.

Remember Pompeii? Mount Vesuvius erupted mightily in the year 79 A.D. and left thousands of hapless humans forever frozen in deed and time.

Suspend disbelief, if only for these few moments, and imagine that a similar volcano has erupted right here in San Diego county, covering my home and thousands like it, with a burning layer of lava and volcanic ash. Let us hope, that when this does occur, time does not find me sitting on the toilet. Although I yearn to be remembered throughout the ages, it would not be for the ignominious title of The Lady Pooper.

I would prefer to have the interest lie in what remains under my Christmas tree. There is a CD of inspirational Christian music by a woman who attends my sister's church. Her voice is haunting and lovely. Centuries hence, I might be thought to be a holy woman, an ancient shaman of the cult of Jesus Christ.

There are several colorful and pleasantly scented candles. And there are books; evidence that the mysterious shaman of the tin house was a learned woman. For few homes in the city contain books. Most homes have large boxes. There is speculation of a minor but widespread Cult of the Box with many gods given names like Phillips, Magnavox, and Sanyo.

Perhaps I was a sacred food preparer. For beneath this tree there are many lovely and mysterious objects called GIZMO by Black and Decker. These objects have been discovered under dozens of these mysterious trees of worship. There is the Holey Cheese Grater that seems to have been a power source. Along side of that is some sort of flat iron that must have been used to steam the ritual breads placed on the religious platter. On this platter, there are many renderings of the fat god of the red suit.

The fat god's pack is reminiscent of the bags of tinsel, colored paper, and bits of food outside my door; obviously an offering to the gods for the bounty bestowed upon me during this winter celebration.

Next to this platter is a beverage cup. The harsh and gutteral language known as English has recently been deciphered so that the archeologist knows that the writing on this cup says "Instant Human. Just Add Coffee." The beverage cup will be given special handling in the hopes that the scientists will be able to grow an ancient human. This could be their answer to the troubling epidemic of human infertility that has plagued the planet for the last 50 years.

This minor culture, with all of its oddly charming rituals, was indeed an interesting interlude in time.

Kinja, the weblog guide

Saturday, December 24, 2005

May The Angels Bless...

And Keep You
Safe In Their Arms.

Merry Christmas!

Kinja, the weblog guide

Friday, December 23, 2005

An Embarrassment of Riches

Have you ever noticed that when you start feeling really sorry for yourself, the Universe has a way of humbling you?

Yesterday was the Christmas party we have every year at the facility for our staff. We have a fancy one for all of the San Diego area facilities earlier in the month. And then we put on our own little homespun version closer to Christmas.

Usually we do a potluck but this year the boss had a little extra in the kitty and it was more of a catered affair.

We do a voluntary secret santa gift exchange. I got one of those nifty little CD players with head phones. But that wasn't all. From the beginning of the day until the end, there was an amazing parade of wrapped packages from my office mail box, to my desk and everywhere in between. For a couple of hours there, each time I left my office, I returned with at least one gift in hand.

I was alternately amazed, abashed, and speechless. Although I do recognize that I am a boss to many, I never gave gifts to bosses I didn't like. And a fair number of them came from those who do not fall under my supervisory purview.

My office was a jumble of santas, angels, and holly. Red, green, and gold packages and gift bags on the floor, the desk, and the work table behind me. I felt like a kid again. It didn't matter what was in the packages. Santa Claus was alive and well.

Kinja, the weblog guide

Thursday, December 22, 2005

More Lesbians in Antarctica?

Now there's a question for the ages. Gretchen Legler received a National Sciences Foundation grant and went to Antarctica to study the impact of the environment and isolation on the people working at McMurdo Station. It's a sort of international science lab for adventurers and those now grown up kids we used to call geeks.

She ended up writing a series of essays entitled On the Ice: An Intimate Portrait of Life at McMurdo Station, Antarctica (The World As Home). What happened is that about halfway through the book, Ms. Legler, a lesbian with a recently broken heart, met a lesbian mechanic and fell in love. All reviews indicate that while the book lost some focus from that point on, the emotional honesty more than makes up for the weaknesses the interlude brings to the final product.

In an interview with Ms. Legler that I found on Salon.com, the interviewer asks if and why there would be a lot of lesbians in Antarctica. The question was never fully answered. Even so, I felt that little clutch in my gut. I may have missed the boat. Here I have spent almost 30 years in San Diego, never knowing all the dykes were living with the penguins.

I hate it when that happens.

Kinja, the weblog guide

Monday, December 19, 2005


I have my moments like this. Up before dawn. Brewing my coffee. Not even yet contemplating what my day might bring.

The only sounds are the heating system and the snuffling of the dog as she checks the cat litter for left over treats.

Nothing exists outside of my little safe space. No people, no demands, no bills, no errands, no deadlines. It is during moments like this that I try to define myself; often to no avail.

Sometimes I think I see the edges of me, fluttering around my peripheral vision like faeries.

I heard not long ago, that people are defined by their actions and not by what is inside. That's a little deep for me this early in the morning. I just know that I cannot thrive without these small spaces of solitude. It is as though life chips out little pieces of me. And I spend these quiet hours trying to paste them back on.

Kinja, the weblog guide

Saturday, December 17, 2005

A Cold Day In Hell

That's what it will be if you catch me buying a Ford vehicle. They are pulling their ads for Land Rovers and Jaguars from all gay rags. Here's what an article in CNNMoney said last week about Ford's advertising dilemma:

Ford said last week its Jaguar and Land Rover luxury brands would pull all advertising from gay publications after facing a boycott threat from the American Family Association, which has criticized the automaker for being gay-friendly.

Guess what? The AFA has stopped the boycott. And after meeting with the gay groups regarding the issue, here is what the white boys in gray suits had to say:

"We value all people -- regardless of their race, religion, gender, sexual orientation and cultural or physical differences," Ford Chairman and Chief Executive Bill Ford Jr. said in a statement released after the meeting with gay rights groups.

Yada, yada, yada...

Kinja, the weblog guide

Still Crazy After All These Years

Yes, we do have an A strain of the influenza in our little facility. I have been screamed at by a state surveyor who is on her last nerve, dealt with the public health department, mopped hysterical nurses up off the floor, and sent 5 residents to the hospital.

I have done battle with pharmacy personnel who cannot get the flu vaccine and amantadine out fast enough along with their regular runs. It came to light that while most of the residents received the flu vaccine by mid November, a significant percentage of our staff did not. Yesterday, the staff development director vaccinated 20 staff. Now we are out of vaccine.

This is a classic illustration of penny wise and pound foolish. The boss refuses to provide flu vaccine to the staff. She arranges a couple of trips to the Kaiser flu clinic and everyone else is on their own. Now that we have the flu in the building, I have had to order about one thousand dollars worth of extra gloves, hand gel, hand wipes, masks, disposable water pitchers, syringes, and over the counter cough and cold medications. Not to mention the amantadine for the staff and the overtime costs because of staff who are too ill to work.

Next month, when the epidemic is but a memory, she will yell at me for spending too much money. Such is the life of a long term care director.

Last night, the staff development director and I went to the Olive Garden to share a nice dinner and a glass of wine. God was good and someone left my new VCR on my doorstep. I watched the last 2 episodes of the L Word, season I. With any luck, season II will arrive by Christmas Eve. With even better luck, I will get at least 2 days undisturbed that weekend. I am supposed to have a 4 day weekend next week. But I will settle for 2.

I am on my way to the facility right now. One of my nurses could not stop vomiting and I have a new nurse alone in the large cottage.

Today my mantra is: This too shall pass.

Kinja, the weblog guide

Thursday, December 15, 2005

So Much for the Flu Vaccine

I'm a huge cheerleader for the flu vaccine. But they seem to have missed the mark this year. And this virus is nasty. I am on my way to work to meet the Public Health department. We have about 25 residents out of 94 who are ill. 4 have already been hospitalized in the past 2 days. I'm working until 8 or 9 every night.

About 30% of my nursing staff is out ill. We all had the vaccine.

The health department will let us know if we actually have the influenza in our facility. I think I can bet on the answer.

Expected to come up for air sometime next week.

Kinja, the weblog guide

Sunday, December 11, 2005

The Peter Principle

That's the one that says anything that can go wrong, will go wrong. So I get halfway through season one of the L Word and my DVD player crashes and burns. Then I find out that my almost never used back up is also dead. Courtesy, I suppose, of the ex-housemate (currently a jailbird).

That solves the mystery of how it went from the guest room and into the garage. My Saturday did not start out that way. It started with a phone call saying that the large cottage had only one licensed nurse. And not just any nurse. My favorite Head In The Sand And Only Do What Is Absolutely Necessary Nurse. My It Wasn't My Fault I Did The Best I Could Nurse.

I had visions of bodies everywhere while this guy went to lunch. Visions of crazy residents with shivs and brass knuckles yearning to breathe free. I had no choice but to spend the day babysitting him.

But it does not end there. The nurse who manipulated her way into a 3 week vacation over Thanksgiving called this morning to say that she would not return to work on her first scheduled day back as she "has an appointmen" (which of course she made after she flew back into town). It must be nice to not give a damn about your job.

And as I sit here typing, I hear the mellifluous voice of my lovely African Queen over the answering machine, informing me that she must wear a head scarf as her wigs are causing her hair to fall out. My boss detests, hates, no abhors those things. It is my assumption that the young lady anticipates that I will deliver the news to my boss on the morrow.

Deliver the news I shall. After which I shall retire to my office to tackle my mountain of paperwork and wait for the mushroom cloud to appear over East County.

In the meantime, I am forced to find other modes of entertainment as I wait for my new DVD player to arrive, courtesy of Overstock.com. Along with the second season of the L Word.

I need lots of relaxing distraction when I am home. Otherwise I will either kill a nurse or quit my job.

Saturday, December 10, 2005

Merry Christmas Mr. President

I found this little nugget in The Revealer. It seems that the first family has sent a Christmas card wishing everyone Happy Holidays. So what has the Christian Wrong Wing in a tizzy? They failed to say Merry Christmas. Therefore the card is not Christian!

Bill Donohue, president of the Catholic League calls this pulling a Clinton which must mean that he equates Clinton and the democrats with the devil.

So the Prez suddenly realizes that he is the leader of a multicultural populace. Probably thanks to the first lady. And the fundies are all like boo hoo hoo.

That's pitiful.

Kinja, the weblog guide

Thursday, December 08, 2005

Are These People Dangerous?

I found this article on a parenting message board. Focus on the Family has decided to pull it's money out of Wells Fargo Bank because it evidences positive support of homosexuality. I remember the first few times I listened to Dr. James Dobson on national radio. He sounded like such a wonderful and intelligent man. Pictures of him show a man who could be my father or my grandfather.

Here is a portion of the article:

"The conservative Christian group Focus on the Family says it is withdrawing its funds from Wells Fargo because of the bank's support of gay groups.

"Focus on the Family has elected to end its banking relationship with Wells Fargo, motivated primarily by the bank's ongoing efforts to advance the radical homosexual agenda," says a statement on the Focus website dated Thursday and attributed to Focus President and Chief Executive Jim Daly.

"Our decision is not personal, but principled, and we trust our constituents and others will respect it," it says."

Would someone please tell the thousands of children being raised by gay parents that their families are no good? Luckily, corporate America has begun to realize that our money is as good as the next person's money. Gay men have more disposable income than any other single group in the country. How stupid would it be to refuse their piece of the pie?

For those who remain uninformed, gay parents raise no more gay children than do straight parents. Most of us had straight parents. They did not do anything to make us gay.

Perhaps Focus on the Family could put their time, energy, and money into something useful like solving world hunger or stamping out illiteracy. I hold out little hope for people whose main thrust appears to be damning those who do not share their narrow value system.

Kinja, the weblog guide

Wednesday, December 07, 2005

This Is Our Shame

Whatever happened to the Golden Rule? See what Nelle has to say about the death of Richard Rust. She provides a link to the NPR story.

Kinja, the weblog guide

Tuesday, December 06, 2005

OK. So It's Old News

The 1st season of the L Word arrived in the mail. I'm halfway through episode number 5 and thinking I had better order season 2 so that I can have an L Word festival over Christmas. For the most part, the lesbians I used to hang with never looked like this. Los Angeles is a whole different world.

In Los Angeles, they actually have girl bars where people look like they look in the L Word. We have a few dykes who look like that in San Diego but mostly that crowd goes for private parties up in north county. I prefer your average nice looking woman without a lot of pretension. However, the L Word dykes are interesting and definitely fun to look at. Although I haven't yet seen one old enough to date.

I don't have cable because I don't watch a heck of a lot of TV. I wouldn't say I was cheap. It's more a question of straigtening out a couple of financial issues before I rack up one more monthly payment. That and finding the time to welcome the cable guy into my home.

Had I been able to schedule the cable guy with the heating repair person this morning, I might have done so. But no such luck. Besides, it's going below 40 at night in east county and morning showers are rough.

I will be on an all day jaunt to the desert tomorrow. Work related. Then a couple of days behind the Orange Wall for the annual corporate festivities. Somehow I have to squeeze in a trip to the Kaiser clinic, buy an outfit, have my hair cut, and kennel the dog.

My staff is dropping like flies with this nasty virus that has attacked San Diego. But I'll have the LA Lesbians to keep me warm this weekend.

Kinja, the weblog guide

Monday, December 05, 2005

Only 20 More Shopping Days

Until Christmas. Help!

Kinja, the weblog guide

Sunday, December 04, 2005

Just Call Me Sugar Lips

I hate gummy bears. But there you have it. I AM gummy bears:

Gummy Bears

You may be smooshie and taste unnatural, but you're so darn cute.

Kinja, the weblog guide

Plan B Hoo Haw

It is unbelievable to me that the Christian fundamentalists have actually blocked the over the counter sale of Plan B, the morning after contraceptive. Apparently, the FDA was all set to allow this to happen even though President Bush had requested it not be allowed to go OTC.

Being a post menopausal lesbian, I don't much follow birth control issues. But Gina's posting caught my eye. And the very next Sunday, there was a piece on CBS 60 Minutes.

There happens to be a Fundie gynecologist by the name of David Hager who was asked by the Bush white house to consult with the FDA on the issue of allowing PlanB to go over the counter. Although he claims that his religious leanings have nothing to do with his concerns about the morning after pill, here is part of an address he gave at a Christian college:

“God has used me to stand in the breach for the cause of the kingdom.”

When later questioned about this, Hager said:

“I argued it from a scientific perspective. And God took that information and He used it through this minority report to influence a decision. You don't have to wave your bible to have an effect as a Christian in the public arena.”

What is it with all of these people talking to God? And what is with this moralistic microscope on society. I thought we left Great Britain to get away from all that. And no offense to my Brit friends because they seem to have surpassed us in terms of social growth and development.

If you haven't noticed, the brunt of this moralistic idiocy always seems to fall on the wimmin folk. If she gets preggers at a young age, she shouldn't have the option of saving her life from a stupid mistake. She should know at 15 years old that every action has a consequence and if she doesn't know, then by God she'll learn responsibility by having a baby.

I don't care how many sensitive teen movies of the week they do on teen fathers. They aren't stuck in quite the same way the girls are.

And if perchance you did not bother to read up on PlanB, it is not an abortion pill like RU-486. It merely prevents implantation. And if we are going to go so far as to consider this immoral, then we had better start putting women in jail for wasting eggs every month when they menstruate.

In the famous words of my boss, some people are "fucking idiots."

Kinja, the weblog guide

Saturday, December 03, 2005

Stupid People Are Alive & Well

Somehow I stumbled into this little world of journalists and media people who blog. They're fascinating and informative if you can wade through some of the "I Am Journalist Hear Me Roar" self aggrandizement.

One interesting kid,
Oliver Willis (who for a 27 year old guy is pretty OK as well as smart) publishes some great snippets of political commentary. By the way. If you are over 40 and are not keeping track of the under 30 crowd, you aren't too savvy. They are, after all, going to be running our planet shortly.

In response to one of his commentaries, someone posted a website: whitepeoplesparty.com. Honestly, I don't consider this humorous at all. This is the flip side of free speech. I get to post about being a dyke. They get to post about being rabid racists. I fail to see the connection. Other than we get to say what we have to say. I'm sure there are those who see me as trying to pervert America.

To me perversion has little or nothing to do with consensual sex between 2 adults. In my world, hate mongering of such epic proportions is grossly perverted. Not to mention dangerous.

Anyway, Oliver has a blog called
Like Kryptonite to Stupid. Today he points me to the Washington Monthly where one of our best and brightest is quoted thusly:

Nativist Republican congressman
Tom Tancredo recently wrote a Thanksgiving letter to his Team America PAC expressing gratitude for their help in the "struggle to preserve our national identity, against the tide of illegal immigrants flooding the United States."

So you see. It is not just rednecks living in Utah or the Appalachians who are promoting this sort of garbage. It is also the leaders of the free world.

All those who feel all warm and toasty inside after reading this, raise your hands.

Kinja, the weblog guide

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