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21st Century Lesbian Trailer Trash

These are the mad musings of a middle aged woman, dyke, nurse, poet. I have a dog, a cat, a mobile home, and delusions of grandeur.

Location: California, United States

Sunday, October 23, 2005

Sartorial Splendor

Southern California has no seasons. Not seasons like those found in the midwest or the northeast of these great United States of America. Oh, there are subtle changes.

Sometime in October, the nights become longer and cooler. If we are lucky, the rains come. In the east county it might even reach freezing. There is snow in the mountains. But you can reach 80 degrees in February if a Santa Ana blows through.

If weathermen have a reputation for working a crap shoot, southern California has to beat them all. Take this week for instance. We were promised rain on Monday and Tuesday. Partly sunny skies and warming temperatures through Friday. And bright sunny days with temperatures in the high 70's through the weekend. NOT!

It did rain Sunday, Monday, and Tuesday. Midweek we reached 92 degrees in Lakeside for about 10 minutes. And this weekend? It rained Friday night and has been gray and chilly all weekend. This sort of weather pattern makes for great difficulty in planning one's wardrobe.

I could wear my wool skirt and sweater to work in the morning and be sweating buckets by noon. I could just as easily wear my capris and tee only to be freezing my arse off by quitting time. Everyone says the secret is to layer your clothes.

Does anyone have any idea how many items are needed in their wardrobe in order to layer on a regular basis? One would think that a person would need less clothes in California. Not so.

The teenagers walk around half naked all year round. But then they have lovely budding bodies. And they value fashion over function. It no longer surprises me to see
Daisy Dukes and halter tops at the mall in December.

I am going to put forth the theory that this is why California women are so terribly unfashionable. In the midwest, there were rules and we followed them. You dressed up to go downtown, to church, and to the theater. You wore wool in the winter and cotton in the summer. You did not wear white after Labor Day. You had one coat for winter and a lighter coat for the spring. The weather, with the help of Seventeen magagzine, guided young ladies along the path of fashion do's and do not's. The end.

In California, young ladies grow up destined to suffer from Fashion Personality Disorder (FPD). Instead of reading
Seventeen magazine, or
Glamour magazine for the slightly older young lady, they read the supermarket tabloids. They believe that sunglasses are part of their wardrobe. That and big boobs.

California women are so out of touch with fashion mores, that they will wear short shorts and tank tops sans brassiere, even if they weigh 200 pounds and are over 40. The beach is one thing. But while out shopping? One can barely stand to watch.

I'm not necessarily a prude. One must always forgive the young their need to muddle through the differentiation stage of life. In fact, it can be rather charming to watch the young boys showing their butt cracks, their tats, and their jive walks, and the young girls their legs and bellies. But one would hope that by the age of 30, people would forego wearing their
jellies and spandex to work.

Not so in California where anything goes. Granted, the amazing amounts of sunshine make it all worthwhile. But there are days I cannot help my longing for the fashion sense of the east coast.

Kinja, the weblog guide


Blogger Ting said...

I loved this post as you can imagine! I say pack up your Liz sweaters and slacks and Nine West flats and come back eastward! I wore white flats when it was 80+ degrees last week and just knew the fashion police were going to come arrest me at any moment! LOL

7:19 AM PDT  
Blogger NursePam said...

Funny you should mention this Ms. Ting. I have had serious thoughts just this week about the family cottage in northern Michigan. I think my sister would love it if I would buy it from her.

Although I do not believe that fashion is a high priority in Greenbush.

9:43 AM PDT  

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